And the game began - a game with the tempting name "back to the past." Trink in ICQ, hours spent in Skype. Its vigorous, virtual life. It's funny, but when after many years you meet a person and see his picture or communicate through a video call, a shock occurs. God, how we all changed! You can't see yourself from the side. But this is only the first five minutes, and then ...
Then before you the same Tanya or Vasya, Kohl or Olya. All wrinkles, bald spots and kilograms evaporate. And you already talk about school and love, about youth and rags. In the "Internet" few people remember the children and grandchildren. Yes, somewhere in the first conversation, within a few minutes - a brief excursion into the present life.
A thick glass wall separates virtual and real life. You seem to see everything, but you cannot hear anything and cannot say. But that was once, you can "tweet" for hours, forgetting everything. An interest club, where everything that excites young girls is discussed: rags, cosmetics, men ... For the ladies of “solid age”, these topics are not decent.
But, my God, where did you see “solid ladies” on the Internet? All girls! Well, you won’t discuss the two granddaughters or new socks of the husband, which were bought cheaply for a “half a ruble” and, after the first wash, broke up into component threads. Stupid and funny. What can be husbands and grandchildren of young girls? And this game lasts from day to day, dragging and twisting the invented Internet events and passions into the whirlpool. A sort of peculiar rest and a way to get away from all real problems.
Virtual! Probably, it is necessary to bow in the legs to the person who invented it! Now it is impossible to imagine yourself without "Classmates" or "My World". Where else could you find people you didn’t want to meet? And you would never meet your most beloved school girlfriend or the first and never held, love.
Is it worth it to go all over again? I began to ask myself this question after a little ... However, "a little" does not count. For me, this "re" became a fateful event. Accidentally met a man whom I once loved very much. Then everything was somehow forgotten, overgrown with grass and covered with ash. And so he appeared again. Why, why? After so many years. Why again broke into my well-established life? It must have happened to feel young and self-confident again. Look at yourself and gasp:
- Dear, what have you become? The turtle, fastened on all the buttons and zippers, with eyes that look only at one point and do not want to not only burn, but just to move. Eyes and thoughts froze on one word - family!
- And you? - The question is, like a sharp sting, digs into the brain.
What for? Who needs all this? Goes, goes. Well, you will think: a thick aunt, with a non-painted face and bare nails, with bags that always hold hands.
So what? You propel ahead of all the locomotive and pull the train from behind ... How many cars do you get there? Ten. "Nekhilo", however! And all should have enough patience, love and affection. And the fact that you forget to congratulate you elementary happy birthday or March 8? So what? Come on, buy yourself flowers. Fine! But you - mother, wife, mother-in-law, grandmother, daughter and niece - all in one person. Be proud and pull in silence.
And the mirror? It becomes a luxury for you, because there you see an old, gray-haired, exhausted old woman with an extinct gaze and an absolutely indifferent attitude to life.
A day passed - well, okay. Tomorrow will be good! It will not - well, do not!
And here it appears! At first she is a friend. With her at school you shared everything - the most intimate secrets and desires. She is simply terrified by your image! And it starts to pull you out of the swamp behind your ears, but you, like a frog, flounder and do not want to crawl out of your quiet and such familiar state. Oh, how much effort it took her to just open your eyes.
And it turns out, it was necessary that he appeared - a boy from the past. And the correspondence began. At first, restrained and completely secular. And you start to ёkat heart: it is necessary, someone else remembers me?
It's good that the “camera” does not work for you and he does not see you, but only hears ... And the voice? The voice was still the same young, sonorous ... And you can chat with him for hours. And in my head the thought beats: “We must look at ourselves in the mirror and do something urgently.”
Running into the hairdresser’s, which God hadn’t looked into for how long. Critically perebiraesh wardrobe, nails take shape. Amazingly, your hands, it turns out, are still beautiful.
And in the headphones voice:
- When will I see you?
And you too are waiting for this meeting. You are afraid, but you wait. You understand with your mind that this is not the boy you loved many years ago, but the subconscious mind slips on the image of that fifteen or eighteen year old whom she has been waiting passionately for, but she never waited.
Letters are becoming more frank. Dialogues are increasingly turning into monologues that you dedicate to him, and he to you. At some point, you realize that you become one. Two parts that wandered for a long time in life and met in the "Neta". Ahead is a new, uncharted road. It is terrible to run on it, and you want to! The eyes open and look around. You are surprised to understand that you have become OTHER!
Without fear you come to the mirror. An image of a very beautiful woman appears on a smooth surface. His eyes are burning, his gait is light, and behind his shoulders ... Something completely unfamiliar, fluffy, white. Wings! They are still quite small, like the pant of a little deer, but every day more and more, and now you don’t walk, but you fly. How long has there been a feeling of flying! And at night you think about it and try to pacify the "hooting-thumping" lump that is worn somewhere inside you and does not allow you to fall asleep. And you realize that you fell in love again, like a girl, for the most disguise ...
Hooray, the camera repaired! A meeting. Virtual meeting.
It is terrible to look at the screen and see in front of you the wrong boy, but the old, fat and bald uncle. You do not notice all this, you see only your family and beloved eyes that have not changed a bit and look at you like the girl you were a long time ago. Oh, how are you two well! You understand each other with half a hint, do not say unnecessary words, you just do not need them. The world was divided into two halves: before and after. It does not matter how long it will last. There is a moment. The most beautiful moment of the meeting after many years of separation!
This meeting from an old, rolled-up aunt turned me into a self-sufficient, beautiful woman, which I had not felt for many years. Not because I felt bad with my family, but because I forgot about myself. Just forgot that I am a woman, that I am very good and still not old at all. That you can look at me as an icon and admire me. Not my “Akhami-Okhami”, how to make the life of surrounding people better and at the same time feel like a part of the situation. And just me - so wonderful, beautiful and loved!
There were still many good and bad meetings on the vast expanses of such a huge and small Internet. But for myself, I concluded that it is needed. At least in order to show the language of problems and open the door that we ourselves once slammed before us.